difficult since I find myself writing about Leslie in some aspect or
another. So I decided to write about the night she died. This is like
salting wounds and learning they never healed. It is still so painful,
but now I really want to write about it and share the story more than
before. I think it would be therapeutic if I did even with as painful as
it is. I miss her so much and I still think about her constantly. Deep
down I feel like I let her and Penny down.
I know she died and I don't really blame myself for that... but Penny.
Oh man did she suffer. She was tortured for 2 hours. I could have drove
there in that time (but I had children to watch). Why didn't the Police
show up a lot sooner? What if I didn't call and pester them? Would they
have ever gone to check on them? What took them so long anyway? I miss
her. And I wish I could have spared Penny the 2+ hours of torture that
she endured. I wish I could bring Leslie back. I wish I had gone
instead. I wish I had insisted she take a loaded gun... or something. I
missed Leslie... I feel for Penny... I wish I could change what happened
and I wish I didn't feel so much grief and pain deep inside. I wish I
had some one who understood what I was going through that I could talk to.
Grieving sucks. I just wish I could move on with my life.
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