It’s Football Season! And the Refs are Stupid!

This week I figured out that football season is out in full force. I know it actually started a few weeks ago but then too, I haven’t left my house until I actually had to.

Nothing gets me more angry, worked up and downright livid as football.This whole time of year just grates my last damned nerve, what with Thanksgiving (I’m allergic to turkey) and football and the whole football teams playing, the football talk, the football crap on my recipe websites and all that crap.

It makes me want to hop into my car, drive to the nearest mental institution, strip naked, run to the lobby and scream “I AM SKIN WOMEN! I WILL SAVE YOU!” and then attempt to jump through the nearest window. With any luck, I will be happily sedated until about two weeks after the super bowl.

"We feel you, man."

What most people don’t seem to understand is that there are people on this planet who don’t give a crap about some game where men in tights play ball toss up and down a field. I really don’t give a crap! And no, I don’t care if “your team” won, or lost, or fumbled, or touch down or touched down under or hiccupped or whatever else they did. I generally could not care any less about football than I already do.

I just don’t get why people are so obsessed about football. Before you try to get me to join the dark side, I DID try to get into football years ago. I am proud to announce that I did not kill myself during that time. And that’s all.

I couldn’t get into it. People around me would be furious that whoever fumbled and “our” team did this and that and THEIR team blablabla… and then the war between friends would start with who has the better team. I wish people would get this pissed off about something important… like the elections, or starving children or the pathetic health care system (or the worse one coming up)… the world’s problems would be solved.

I have seen family members disown other family members over the football team they chose. I have seen people fist fight when someone else’s team caught the ball or intercepted or whatever stupid football thing happened. There have even been riots because of football. RIOTS people. Are you kidding me? A riot because your team didn’t win?

What kind of sportsmanship is this supposed to teach kids?

"We lost? That's it! We're burning down the school!"

Anyway, I digress… so football season has started and I already have a headache. Now it’s something about the refs on strike… fine. Then it was the stupid refs… whatever. And now all I have heard for the last week is about [insert long string of profanity] FOOTBALL! I don’t give a damn about who called what, whose side caught it or didn’t and I don’t give a shit who won either.

I just don’t care! And I dread spending the next few months listening to the mind-numbing debate over who has the team that is the best and coolest.

Yippee freaking doo dah. I get to have it shoved down my throat for the next few months about how AWESOME it is to sit and drink beer while stuffing your face and watching a bunch of guys play with their balls!

I am so going to therapy on Monday…

"Can I have the hug me jacket and happy pills anyway?"

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Crying sucks… So does Unemployment!

I am officially jobless. Work comp is settling with me which is all fine and dandy, except that I still can’t work. The idiot doctor I have isn’t interested in helping fix my back. He’s only interested in getting more money by giving me injections that landed me in the emergency room… twice!

Because of that, I am right where we started. My back in screwed and I can’t work.

Instead of crying like a little girl and blowing snot bubbles into my pillow, I decided to use my time wisely and started searching for jobs. They can’t be any job either. It has to be a work-at-home job that I can do reclining or laying down.

Since I have kids I have to support, prostitution and drug dealer is off the list. I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do that. I did start looking around for legitimate online jobs. I found one that I could do 20 hours a week, paid pretty good and I could have done sitting, standing or laying down.

I turned in my application. I studied. I took their test for three freaking days! And then I turned it in today. I failed.

Yes, my dear readers… I am a failure. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go have a good cry and blow snot bubbles out my nose. After that, I will be creating children’s books and searching for other jobs online that I can do at home.

Well, that was my week. How was yours?

Weekly Surfing!

I almost forgot to update! I forgot about my web surfing idea and deleted my history on Wednesday, so here are seven places I went on the web this week.

CNN Iconic Photographs: I think this is by far my favorite this week. I love photographs and I saw this. I spent some time browsing the photos and dreaming of a life as a photographer.

Boyd’s Coffee Website: Since the people here in my town are all anal retentive with the “support our town!” philosophy, but no one can be bothered to actually keep the foods here that I can eat… and since they stopped selling my coffee that I love (both brands!)… and since I am in such a bitchy mood this week, I went to the Boyd’s Coffee website and started pricing. I’ll start buying my coffee online.

Cheezburger (I must have been craving): I was site surfing when I started looking for a good recipe for cheezburger! And yes, I misspelled it. Hey! Don’t you know! There is really a site for that! Although it’s not what I was expecting… It’s really a site!

WTF? How did I get here???: I don’t remember how I got here, but I was reading somewhere that Snooki said she wouldn’t change her baby’s diapers. 1) I don’t know who Snooki is. 2) I had a hard time believing it and did some research.

Potty Training Photo news: Apparently some dumb ass parent thought would be a good idea to potty train her twin daughters… in public… in a crowded restaurant! Suddenly, my parenting skills look stellar!

The Baby Name Finder: NO! I am NOT pregnant! I decided to make a few books and needed to know the name meaning of a few names. This is the one I found most helpful.

Cravings Fulfilled, Gluten-free foods: I was searching for a gluten-free surprise for my friend when I came across this site. My my my these look good!

So there you have it! This week I’ll try to remember not to clean out my history.

Happy Blogging!

Dotchi

Saturday Surfing! Web of Wonders Day!

Can you tell I like alliteration? This week I started searching for new career ideas since I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never again work as a CNA.

It’s funny how I can start googling (I am making up words now) “careers” and “writing kids books” and “how to draw a cartoon girl” and after about two hours of behaving, I end up reading an article about every day things that cause brain farts, researching sign language variations of different cuss words, and scaring the crap out of myself by reading about possible natural disasters that might be a little close to home.

I also surfed a little about blogging because with the whole never-going-back-to-work-again thing, I was trying to figure out what I really want to do in life and blogging is one of my loves. I figured this is something I can throw myself into!

I’ll be all write. <<< PUNNY! But then I thought, wouldn’t it be cool to share my weekly surfing and have a “web of wonders day”. You know, surf the web and wonder how the hell you ended up on this site? LOL Oh I am just full of them today!

SO, I will try to remember to post them on Saturdays. So far all the sites in the post are sites I have gone to this week. Here’s some more sites I stumbled across when I wasn’t actually looking for them:

After checking into Google every day to see if I could play with the doodle, I searched to see if there is a page I can check them all out. There is! Talk about wasting a LOT of time playing Google doodle Olympics!

Of course, I always end up YouTube surfing. I start at one video and end up in some other area of YouTube hours later. This weeks “how the hell did I get here” moment starts here and ends here.

While thinking about synchronized swimming, I thought it would be hilarious if they actually have synchronized walking LOL. Not just marching! But walking… Well, I’ll be… they do have synchronized walking! Way cool! You have to watch it!

In a feeling down and depressed moment, I was surfing people who actually suck at their jobs and found the 5 most hilarious ways anyone ever failed at their jobs. Suddenly, screwing up my back for life by catching someone doesn’t seem so bad.

And while looking for cartoons and how to draw them and kids books, I also ran across this article about 5 insane devices from kids cartoons (that actually exist).

On “Today I Found Out” I learned how deaf people wake themselves in the morning, what Twinkies are made of and why woman are called sluts, dames and broads.

I also started teaching my sons sign language, learned that some hearing people actually WANT to be deaf and that a girl lives with only half a brain.

And the best part of my week? I signed up for the Children’s Book Insider and I am working my way through their lessons and reading a lot on their site.

Next Saturday probably won’t be as loaded with links… but I am clearing my history tonight and I have the post for next week started too.

So where did you surf this week?

Day 10 of Not Smoking…

Today will make day 10 of not smoking. I used the program Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking Program to quit smoking gently instead of going cold turkey (and having a stress attack from nicotine withdrawals).

So far it seems to be going well. I still crave a cigarette every now and then. It’s not horrible though. I keep myself busy with reading or making some recipe or playing online.

The bad side to Quitting

I figured I would tell you the bad stuff first then I’ll share the good parts.

Bad part #1: OMG! The headaches! I keep getting headaches. I think it’s partly because my sinuses are clearing out, partly my blood sugar going crazy (mostly unrelated) and partly from withdrawals. I was pointed to a video on tapping and gave it a try. It actually works! Okay, so it’s not 100% gone. But I will take 99% gone over a raging headache any day!

Here is the video 

Tapping for headaches

I will say that I really don’t think her headache was a 9… but pain is subjective… but still, 9 is rather high. But I did the tapping and it does help.

Bad part #2: OMG! I am HUNGRY!:  Since I quit smoking, I found my appetite has come back in full force. Yea, I didn’t miss being hungry all the time, but it’s better than smoking.

Bad part #3: Getting in touch with my emotions: Since I no longer have the ability of running outside to smoke as a way of avoiding my emotions, I am actually getting in touch with them. That means I kind of have diarrhea of the mouth.

Now the good side of quitting smoking! 

Good part #1: Getting in touch with my emotions: I know, I know. This was a bad side… but it’s also good. I am being much more assertive now and saying what I really think rather than keeping it all bottled up inside. On the days I don’t just start spouting off my thoughts and I spend a moment thinking about what I am going to say, I feel down right assertive and it’s making me feel rather good about myself.

Good part #2: I can breathe! I feels good to breath again without all the smoke and toxins in my lungs. My kids are even breathing easier and I don’t smoke inside. So this is an added benefit!

Good part #3: I am saving money!: Without smoking, I am saving about $30 a week. YOUCH! That was an expensive habit!

Good part #4: I can taste my food! Not saying I couldn’t taste it before I quit smoking, but it tastes so much better now. Which makes it really hard to quit buying coffee shop coffee but at least that is a cheaper habit than my smoking.

SO, how many of you have quit? And if you quit, what changes did you notice?