Crying sucks… So does Unemployment!

I am officially jobless. Work comp is settling with me which is all fine and dandy, except that I still can’t work. The idiot doctor I have isn’t interested in helping fix my back. He’s only interested in getting more money by giving me injections that landed me in the emergency room… twice!

Because of that, I am right where we started. My back in screwed and I can’t work.

Instead of crying like a little girl and blowing snot bubbles into my pillow, I decided to use my time wisely and started searching for jobs. They can’t be any job either. It has to be a work-at-home job that I can do reclining or laying down.

Since I have kids I have to support, prostitution and drug dealer is off the list. I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do that. I did start looking around for legitimate online jobs. I found one that I could do 20 hours a week, paid pretty good and I could have done sitting, standing or laying down.

I turned in my application. I studied. I took their test for three freaking days! And then I turned it in today. I failed.

Yes, my dear readers… I am a failure. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go have a good cry and blow snot bubbles out my nose. After that, I will be creating children’s books and searching for other jobs online that I can do at home.

Well, that was my week. How was yours?

Weekly Surfing!

I almost forgot to update! I forgot about my web surfing idea and deleted my history on Wednesday, so here are seven places I went on the web this week.

CNN Iconic Photographs: I think this is by far my favorite this week. I love photographs and I saw this. I spent some time browsing the photos and dreaming of a life as a photographer.

Boyd’s Coffee Website: Since the people here in my town are all anal retentive with the “support our town!” philosophy, but no one can be bothered to actually keep the foods here that I can eat… and since they stopped selling my coffee that I love (both brands!)… and since I am in such a bitchy mood this week, I went to the Boyd’s Coffee website and started pricing. I’ll start buying my coffee online.

Cheezburger (I must have been craving): I was site surfing when I started looking for a good recipe for cheezburger! And yes, I misspelled it. Hey! Don’t you know! There is really a site for that! Although it’s not what I was expecting… It’s really a site!

WTF? How did I get here???: I don’t remember how I got here, but I was reading somewhere that Snooki said she wouldn’t change her baby’s diapers. 1) I don’t know who Snooki is. 2) I had a hard time believing it and did some research.

Potty Training Photo news: Apparently some dumb ass parent thought would be a good idea to potty train her twin daughters… in public… in a crowded restaurant! Suddenly, my parenting skills look stellar!

The Baby Name Finder: NO! I am NOT pregnant! I decided to make a few books and needed to know the name meaning of a few names. This is the one I found most helpful.

Cravings Fulfilled, Gluten-free foods: I was searching for a gluten-free surprise for my friend when I came across this site. My my my these look good!

So there you have it! This week I’ll try to remember not to clean out my history.

Happy Blogging!

Dotchi

Saturday Surfing! Web of Wonders Day!

Can you tell I like alliteration? This week I started searching for new career ideas since I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never again work as a CNA.

It’s funny how I can start googling (I am making up words now) “careers” and “writing kids books” and “how to draw a cartoon girl” and after about two hours of behaving, I end up reading an article about every day things that cause brain farts, researching sign language variations of different cuss words, and scaring the crap out of myself by reading about possible natural disasters that might be a little close to home.

I also surfed a little about blogging because with the whole never-going-back-to-work-again thing, I was trying to figure out what I really want to do in life and blogging is one of my loves. I figured this is something I can throw myself into!

I’ll be all write. <<< PUNNY! But then I thought, wouldn’t it be cool to share my weekly surfing and have a “web of wonders day”. You know, surf the web and wonder how the hell you ended up on this site? LOL Oh I am just full of them today!

SO, I will try to remember to post them on Saturdays. So far all the sites in the post are sites I have gone to this week. Here’s some more sites I stumbled across when I wasn’t actually looking for them:

After checking into Google every day to see if I could play with the doodle, I searched to see if there is a page I can check them all out. There is! Talk about wasting a LOT of time playing Google doodle Olympics!

Of course, I always end up YouTube surfing. I start at one video and end up in some other area of YouTube hours later. This weeks “how the hell did I get here” moment starts here and ends here.

While thinking about synchronized swimming, I thought it would be hilarious if they actually have synchronized walking LOL. Not just marching! But walking… Well, I’ll be… they do have synchronized walking! Way cool! You have to watch it!

In a feeling down and depressed moment, I was surfing people who actually suck at their jobs and found the 5 most hilarious ways anyone ever failed at their jobs. Suddenly, screwing up my back for life by catching someone doesn’t seem so bad.

And while looking for cartoons and how to draw them and kids books, I also ran across this article about 5 insane devices from kids cartoons (that actually exist).

On “Today I Found Out” I learned how deaf people wake themselves in the morning, what Twinkies are made of and why woman are called sluts, dames and broads.

I also started teaching my sons sign language, learned that some hearing people actually WANT to be deaf and that a girl lives with only half a brain.

And the best part of my week? I signed up for the Children’s Book Insider and I am working my way through their lessons and reading a lot on their site.

Next Saturday probably won’t be as loaded with links… but I am clearing my history tonight and I have the post for next week started too.

So where did you surf this week?

Day 10 of Not Smoking…

Today will make day 10 of not smoking. I used the program Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking Program to quit smoking gently instead of going cold turkey (and having a stress attack from nicotine withdrawals).

So far it seems to be going well. I still crave a cigarette every now and then. It’s not horrible though. I keep myself busy with reading or making some recipe or playing online.

The bad side to Quitting

I figured I would tell you the bad stuff first then I’ll share the good parts.

Bad part #1: OMG! The headaches! I keep getting headaches. I think it’s partly because my sinuses are clearing out, partly my blood sugar going crazy (mostly unrelated) and partly from withdrawals. I was pointed to a video on tapping and gave it a try. It actually works! Okay, so it’s not 100% gone. But I will take 99% gone over a raging headache any day!

Here is the video 

Tapping for headaches

I will say that I really don’t think her headache was a 9… but pain is subjective… but still, 9 is rather high. But I did the tapping and it does help.

Bad part #2: OMG! I am HUNGRY!:  Since I quit smoking, I found my appetite has come back in full force. Yea, I didn’t miss being hungry all the time, but it’s better than smoking.

Bad part #3: Getting in touch with my emotions: Since I no longer have the ability of running outside to smoke as a way of avoiding my emotions, I am actually getting in touch with them. That means I kind of have diarrhea of the mouth.

Now the good side of quitting smoking! 

Good part #1: Getting in touch with my emotions: I know, I know. This was a bad side… but it’s also good. I am being much more assertive now and saying what I really think rather than keeping it all bottled up inside. On the days I don’t just start spouting off my thoughts and I spend a moment thinking about what I am going to say, I feel down right assertive and it’s making me feel rather good about myself.

Good part #2: I can breathe! I feels good to breath again without all the smoke and toxins in my lungs. My kids are even breathing easier and I don’t smoke inside. So this is an added benefit!

Good part #3: I am saving money!: Without smoking, I am saving about $30 a week. YOUCH! That was an expensive habit!

Good part #4: I can taste my food! Not saying I couldn’t taste it before I quit smoking, but it tastes so much better now. Which makes it really hard to quit buying coffee shop coffee but at least that is a cheaper habit than my smoking.

SO, how many of you have quit? And if you quit, what changes did you notice?

Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking Android App: It Really Works!

I have tried to quit smoking several times since I moved and nothing seemed to work. I didn’t want to be cranky with my children so I would continue smoking. I tried reducing the number of cigarettes I smoked but it never really seemed to help.

Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking Program

I tried several android apps but they didn’t seem to be as successful as I had hoped. They assumed you were quitting smoking cold turkey. While they offered great suggestions, games to play and Facebook updates, they didn’t make it any easier to quit smoking and only made me obsessed about cigarettes.

Then I found an android app called Smoker Reducer quit Smoking Program… and it’s FREE! I downloaded it expecting the same type of app as I had downloaded before. But this one turned out to be a lot different.

Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking Program: set up

When I first opened the program, it asked for the time I first smoke a cigarette during the day and what time I go to bed. I thought this was a little weird but I entered it and then put in how many cigarettes I smoke a day, the price of a pack of cigarettes and the number in a pack.

It said it would assume I had already smoked some that day (since I downloaded it in the middle of the day) and then set up my smoking schedule.

Smoking schedule? Well, this is new!

I looked at the smoking schedule and it had me smoking a cigarette every 52 minutes. Damn, I smoke a lot! I decided to be cooperative and waited to see what would happen. 52 minutes later I was a little shaky and felt like I was crawling out of my skin when my notification went off.

I checked and it said I could go smoke… or I could “bank” the cigarette and smoke it later. I picked “Smoke cig” and headed outside. For the rest of the day, I smoked about every 52 minutes.  say “about” because by the end of the day, I had 3 in my “bank”.

I also got an achievement for starting the program. WOOHOO! I love achievements!

Good Morning minus one!

The next morning I woke up and immediately went to the Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking app. It was all ready to set up my schedule for the day. I was curious what would happen to those banked cigarettes too. I touched the circle on the screen and it got me started for the day but took away one cigarette.

So day 1 I smoked 15 cigarettes and day 2 I only had 14 cigarettes and the my schedule was 1 hour and 10 minutes apart. I should tell you now that my days aren’t always normal days. I go to bed at different times. I could change my bed time each morning to adjust my cigarette schedule.

I also got an achievement for saving money. By not smoking that ONE cigarette a day, even if I only smoked one less cigarette a day for the next year, I would be saving $215! Okay, I never thought of it that way before. Damn. what could I do with that much money?

As of today, I at 9 cigarettes for today. My schedule is 1 hour and 32 minutes apart.

Knocking them out one by one: The Cons

There isn’t much to put here actually. I am not going crazy with rage, crying or dealing with migraines. I am not walking past every cigarette staring and drooling. The withdrawals aren’t nearly as bad. I can actually function!

I do eat a lot more but I am not sure that is a con. I need to eat better and eat more but I don’t. My appetite is coming back slowly.

I will gain weight. In fact I have gained a couple pounds. Am I freaking out over it? Nope. It will come back off once my body realizes I am eating regularly again.

Boy I get sleepy! Since tobacco is a stimulant (and a depressant…) when you are cutting back, you will feel more tired that usual. That’s okay! Be prepared for naps though.

Knocking them out one by one: The Pros!

The hardest part for me is the first 3 or 4 cigarettes. I REALLY want to smoke by the time my notification goes off saying I can go smoke. But by the end of the day, I am not even thinking about my next cigarette.

By knocking my smoking habit by one cigarette a day, I am gently getting my body used to not having the nicotine without the horrendous side effects. I don’t feel angry at all, I am not ready to scream, I haven’t burst into tears and bawled uncontrollably. I just get a little antsy right before it’s time to go smoke.

The program doesn’t try to guilt trip you when you go smoke. It doesn’t make you view pictures of cancerous lungs, people in iron lings or anything else like that before you go smoke. It’s not trying to make you feel like sh*t for doing something you are addicted to. It just sets your schedule and reminds you that you can go smoke.

Although today I woke up with a tiny headache that Motrin took care of, I am not curled up in a ball in a dark room with a debilitating migraine.

My appetite is coming back! Even with all the stress that I am going through, my appetite is returning. I feel a little more lively most of the times… although I do have moments where I am just freaking SLEEPY!

I sleep better. I noticed that I am falling asleep a little easier. I am not sleeping sounder because of my back pain, but I am falling asleep better. If my back wasn’t waking me up, I would be able to tell you if I slept soundly. Anyone want to chime in on that?

I feel better! I can actually breathe a little easier now too. I don’t feel horrible about myself when I go smoke because “I should be quitting”… I am smoking BECAUSE I am quitting. That mindset is a actually pretty freeing for me!

How much money am I saving?

The Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking App shows you how much money you are spending and how much you are saving.

When I started, I was spending

• Day: $4.39
• Week: $30.73
• Month: $133.50
• Year: $1602.35

Holy Nicotine Addiction!

Now, at 9 cigarettes a day, I spend

• Day: $2.63
• Week: $18.41
• Month: $79.98
• Year: $959.95

That’s a decent difference! In case you don’t want to break out a calculator, that means I am saving

• Day: $1.76
• Week: $12.32
• Month: $53.52
• Year: $642.40

By next paycheck, I will not be smoking! So as a treat and celebration, I am taking the $30 I would spend a week and buying something for my kids and myself. Can you imagine what I can do with $1602.35 that I will save in a year???

How about those lungs?

I should point out that the Smoker Reducer Quit Smoking App does have a picture of lungs that look like a smokers lungs under the statistics tab. At first I was like “meh, it’s a quit smoking app. I figured it would be here somewhere.”

Then on day 2 I was waiting for my next cigarette when I noticed a statement at the bottom. It says that the picture of the lungs in the program isn’t a statement of how your lungs are, it’s representation of your progress. Over the days, I have noticed that the lungs are pinker and look healthier. So as I progress, the lungs will eventually look like healthy lungs.

Update is coming!

In about 10 days, I will be posting an update to let you know how my progress is going!