I just spent two days at my mother in laws house so I can continue to work. I am not sure it is worth it to me though. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother in law. I took a few years but we get along great now. We do have our disagreements though. Like, I like to sleep. She likes to wake me up every 20 minutes to ask me a question. "Do you care if the boys watch blablabla?" "Did you eat today?" "Did the boys eat today?" and other questions of normal concern for a mother in law. The concern isn't bothering me... the lack of sleep is!

I work third shift at a nursing home. I NEED to be able to function to do my job. Usually the first night is okay until about 3 AM. I start feeling the effects of no sleep in 24 hours or more. I start yawning so much that I might as well just keep my mouth open. My feet start dragging and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I make sure to guzzle of few cups of Octavia coffee. That has me wired for sound and ready to go... and ready to GO! It works wonders. Once at my mother in laws house, I can sleep for about 1 or 2 hours until the boys get up. Once they are up, I try to stay awake. By the time mother in law gets home, I am exhausted from nearly 36 hours with 1 hour of sleep. I hit the couch because if I curl up in a bed, I will not get back up!

That's when every 20 minutes I get woke up... I try to be polite and conscious and but sometimes it is hard to do. And then the kids ask me questions, "Mom, can I have cookies?" no. "Mom, can I have a burrito?" Sure. "Mom, can I go outside?" sure. "MOM! He looked at me funny and said 'nah nah' and hurt my feelings!" *grrrr* By the time 9pm rolls around, I maybe have 3-4 hours of sleep. I make sure the boys are ready for bed, eat a little something, grab coffee, kiss the boys good-night and head out the door for work running on not much more than fumes.

At work, after my eyes are bloodshot from no sleep, after all the coffee in the world stops helping and after my head starts aching from no sleep... that is when I REALLY feel it. My feet and ankles start hurting, my knees throb, my shoulders ache, my back kills me and I just hurt all over. But I still have to do it. And now with more people to get up on the get up list, I am dying when 5:30 AM hits. By the time I leave, I look like crap, I am walking around in a daze, not much makes sense to me anymore and coffee becomes a laxative. I make it to my mother in laws house in time for her to leave. I collapse on the couch after setting up the breakfast for the boys. I sleep until 11am... a whole 3 hours of sleep. Then we usually pack up, clean the house and drive home. By the time I get home, I am on autopilot. I am too tired to think and do anything... yet, I have to start laundry, dinner, cleaning, homeschooling books, etc. That night we usually have movie night with popcorn and I never make it past the first couple of names that run across the screen. That's even if I make it past the movie makers logo.

It gets better the next day. I am groggy all day but I can function. It'd be so much easier if I could just take the boys to work with me. I could sleep normal while at home, get up, drive to work. Lay little Man in a chair to sleep and Miles would push a barrel or cart and find something to do all night. He'd fall asleep on the way home while Little Man and I had breakfast and chatted. Once home, we'd all take a nap, get up to find Little Man playing quietly in the play area of my room and I wouldn't feel like my head was going to float to the clouds by days end.

I really wish that I didn't have to work. If it were up to me, I wouldn't. I love my job! I really do, but the money is almost not worth the paycheck that doesn't cover a thing now that the gas prices are so high that it costs me 1/3 of what I earn to drive to work.

I'd rather stay home and ENJOY my life rather than just managing to make it through without collapsing from exhaustion.

I am packed and ready to go to MIL's house for the weekend. We have 3 meals plus 2 snacks packed for each day. I have my uniforms and shoes packed, the boys have 2 changes of clothes packed, plus all the homeschool stuff to kill time while waiting for me to go to work again. After Monday, I have vacation for TEN DAYS! Fifteen if I can stretch it the right way. So I am off for now.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

I ended up working 60 hours last week thinking dh would be leaving the first few days of September. Dh found out Monday night that he was leaving Thursday. Tuesday we spent the day getting his uniforms ready, Wednesday we spent the day doing the spouse checklist and packing and then went to the family get together b/c dh is leaving for a few months, his sister and her hubby are moving to Florida and everyone wanted to see each before they all left.

Yesterday we went to the Reserve center and got our ID cards. Since Miles is 10, he got his first dependent ID! (That's a huge thing to Navy brats... at least it was when I was young and lived on bases.) We went to lunch together, checked out the AFB exchange and gas prices, and then went to the airport. We waited until dh went to his gate and then went outside on the sidewalk that runs in front of the unloading area, went down to the end where we could see the windows near the gate and we all signed "I love you" to him across the way. We were going to go to the AFB and watch his plane take off (It's right next to the run way) but the traffic was SO horrible that we sat waiting to turn for 10 minutes. There are no traffic lights through Alcoa HWY and during rush hour, you might as well not even try. I kept going straight looking for a spot to turn around but in the rain, it was too much for my nerves. We hit the interstate and headed home. At least now I know to go to McC's and just watch the planes from there.

Dh made it to San Diego last night at 12:30 our time. The boys and I sat up doing a light show in the dark (with a glow stick tied to a string) until dh called. Then we went to bed (and boy did I need the sleep by then!)

This morning I talked to dh... they did all that rushrushrushing to get him out to San Diego and he has a three day weekend! So now he's hanging out waiting until Monday. *grrr* We discussed all the stuff we didn't before. When to call and when not to call, what the truck needs and what computer equipment needs to be sent where. This is not how I envisioned being "prepared" for the next leave LOL. It was stressful but I made it through it alive. I can't call dh during the week until WAY late at night. We decided to email during the week. I can call him on the weekend though. He can't answer his cellphone in public while in uniform... that's frowned upon. I told him if there was an emergency, I'd text message him, call the command, call his office or call the ombudsmen or the captain in Knoxville. They can get things rolling.

I am going down to 4 days a week work, then 3 and 2. 3 one week, 2 the next. Then I can spend more time concentrating on what I need to do at the house and with the boys. The down point is that half of my paychecks are going to gas and now my mother in law will keep the boys while I work. I am going to pay her $50 a week to keep the boys for me (to help her out as well) so my checks are going to be very small! I am thinking of not working much at all. With gas prices, it's no longer worth it for me to work except for medical care.

We plan on driving out to California in October or November. I am going to plan the trip so we can stop and visit family along the way. That is really my favorite part!

For the short term, I am planning out meals for 5 weeks. I am going to make them ahead of time and store them in the deep freezer. So far I have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks all planned out. I'll need about $100 in groceries and then I'll be set for the next month and a half to feed us. I'll post more later. The boys want to buy pizza with their allowance and I am really needing to go to Save*A*Lot for groceries.

One friend of mine has five kids. Her kids are in public school. Her 3-year-old twins are in Headstart. She is very organized when it comes to school issues. Each child has a cubby, each child is color coded (pink back pack, pink dishes, etc) each child has their own responsibilities, etc. She is very involved in her kids schooling, education, discipline, and still she has time to spend with them, help with homework and her family is functional as well. Although I would never be able to do it, she couldn't homeschool either. We see our differences and marvel at how we function differently in different situations. If I had to do the public school thing, I'd have a nervous breakdown about 1 week into the experience.

The other night I went to her house and I watched (and helped) as she loaded each backpack with paper, folders, pencils, glue, crayons, colored pencils, wipes, tissue and a plethora of other things. She meticulously labeled each item with the child's name and marked off each item she finished labeling. We talked about "school clothes". Most schools have gone to uniforms. The ones here just have the dress code still. Each of her kids have a new pair of school shoes, new outfits, new back packs... all the new stuff for a new school year. I am amazed at how she can handle it all. And I know the financial burden of starting school is high.

I noted how different we are, yet we are in the parenthood for the same reasons and agree on a lot of the things about it. But in the morning her children will wake before dawn, dress, eat, get on a bus and go to school. She handles it well. I'd be a nervous wreck. Not because I have skirt strings wrapped around my children’s necks, but because of our lifestyle. Of course, if all her kids were homeschooled, she'd go crazy and have herself committed. If I had to deal with all the hassle of a government schedule, I'd go crazy and have myself committed.

I can't see getting up at 6:30 am... period. I need my sleep. My kids would malfunction going to bed at 8pm. They stay up with me on nights I am off. We're usually up until 11 pm or later. Plus, I work 65 miles from here and at times we stay at my mother in laws house to ease the trauma of gas prices ($2.54 a gallon here). We stay for 2-4 days at a time. We leave town often for fairs and trips. Soon dh will be in San Diego and we'll be traveling there too. I can sleep when I can, we can go when we want, I spend time with my kids when I am off and hubby sees them when he is home. It works for us and we can homeschool at any hour we need, any day, any month. I buy shoes when we need them, clothes when we need them, buy our books when we need them. I can stretch my budget this way while she prefers to plan for the beginning of the school year, buy everything all at once and be done with it, only replacing what needs replacing or buying what comes up and planning for it.

When the whole discussion of homeschool vs. public school comes up and people start bashing public school, I have to remind myself of my friend and her five children. What works for my family and me doesn't always work for someone else. While public schools work for some, it won't for others. And then I think a little further. It's not just the public schools. The parents that are involved, like my friend, are what makes it work. The parents that are involved are what make it happen for that family. The same as homeschooling. It works when the parents are involved. It still amazes me that the two lifestyles work so well in the different families but would fall apart if reversed.

I am still happy we homeschool and I wouldn't want it any other way. I love the freedom I have, but then too, I am not one who handles schedules too well :) I love the relaxed homeschool style we have. My kids would not flourish in public school (BTDT- brought them home) and her kids would not flourish if homeschooled. It still amazes me... and all 7 kids are pretty well behaved. I think we've both done great jobs at raising our kids in different environments and still we are able to see our differences and support each other without making the other feel awful for their decision.

Why can't we all be like that? After all, we're all reaching for the same goal... good, well-rounded kids.

Stepping off the soapbox now.

I've been playing around with the settings. I think it just takes time to make the changes stick. They are still in the template but they don't show up on the blog yet. I've spent too much time trying to get it to function correctly. I am going to go clean the house now. We're buying pizza so we don't have to cook for right now. The boys will have pizza and I will have my brown rice so I don't hurt myself.