I picked up my hubby from the airport today. On the way I noticed something that I've been paying attention to this last week. I think it is hilarious that people in the city buy these huge trucks or SUV's that could easily drive up stairs, mountainsides and across shallow streams and them avoid every city obstacle there is.
One man was driving a large pick up truck with tires half the size of monster truck tires. He could have easily drove his truck over a curb and never felt it or even a small vehicle with a quizzical "what was that bump?" But watching him drive it down the main road in Coronado had me belly laughing.
Picture this: I am driving down Yuppyville Lane in my roaring beast of a van checking out all the multimillion dollar homes. All these very rich hooty tooty people in Jaguars and Porsche's are near me in traffic. There is a cop ahead and a lot of other nice shiney cars. Even the one that looks like a rolling bread box. As the traffic starts to clear I am toodling along in my wonder beast enjoying the sunshine and breeze.
It came to a point where we could drive at normal speed and along we all drove at all 35 miles per hour, humdy doodly. Along this road there a "speed humps" and speed dips to make sure everyone stays slow. God fobird should a jaywalking pedestrian get hit by a car... any whoodles... I drive over the "speed humps" and slow to 30 over the dips. No biggy.
Then, I hear this rumbling roaring scream of an engine that can only be a monster truck ready to overtake my van. We weren't far from the dip but far enough that Sir Prance-a-lot managed to pass us. I was watching because I figured this monster truck stunt driver wanna be was revving his engine to woo us all in blaze of glory as sped his way through the dips at all of 40 miles per hour. Be still my beating heart.
OH NO! Mr I-have-more-money-than-I-have-balls went flying up and then slowed to about 5 miles an hour to crawl over the bump. I nearly peed myself with laughter. My 13-year-old son was mortified at how much of a wuss this "bad-arse" tatoo'd macho man turned out to be. Instead of AH, we got HA!
The next hump was even better. This faker floors it to the "speed hump", slowed down and went diagonal across the hump. I had to clean my windshield from spit-laughter spray. All I could do was laugh and say "Is this a JOKE?" The man has a vehicle that sits 3 feet off the ground and he's driving diagonal across the hump? What is he afraid of? That the hump might hit the bottom of the truck? It's all of 4 or 6 inches off the ground. Why crawl across the dips? Afraid your shocks might break? Good grief.
Well, today I noticed it again. Another "cool dude" driving an SUV doing the same thing. What is the point of having the really cool "suped up" vehicle if you can't drive it. These SUV's and truck haven't seen dirt their whole life. And that layer of smog ooze grease that develops on the windshields doesn't count!
If you are going to buy a vehicle that is meant to go off road, at least drive it like that on road instead of this prissy tip-toe across the water puddles and carefully climbing over the bumps. While your at it, you might want to avoid that McDonald's straw on the road! It might puncture your gas tank! Shoot, my 1986 Volvo sedan has done more offroading than these guys SUV's ever will!
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